Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Boobs. I hate my boobs.
I've always had a love hate relationship with my orbs. Right now we are in a hate phase.
I remember when I got boobs. Over one summer, between 6th and 7th grade I went from the dreaded puffy nipple stage to a C cup. Great right? Not so much. I was one of the few girls at my co-ed grade school who came out so fully. There were a few problems. First, I did not have knowledge of fully supportive bras. Mine were more of the stretchy white fabric kind-no underwire. So when I moved I looked like I was carrying a tray of jello jigglers. The other problem was the boys. Once a guy asked if I wanted to play "poker"...ok...not smart- there were no cards involved. My initial reaction was to bitch slap him...which I did. Kids at that age also thought that if a girl had big boobs she was using them in dirty ways. They assumed that I had already "done stuff" since the arrival of the twins...stupid boys.
Over the course of high school I gained a small bit of respect for my ladies, but it wasn't until college until I fully appreciated them. Between the ages of 20-23 I loved my boobs. They were my big bouyant friends. Trashy as it sounds I knew that if I was at a crowded bar I could lean and get some quick service. If you got 'em right?- Don't judge me.
Now, as in post baby, I hate my boobs once more. I know that they are supposed to be a wonderful connection- yada yada, but my damn nursing bra is a G...thats right the
7th letter of the alphabet.
Now that I'm back to the gym it gets even worse. I wear a bra plus 2 sportsbras and I'm still making a milkshake everytime I move. In class today we were doing quick know, where you run really fast in place. YOu can make your own visual, but it wasn't pretty.
I know the grass is always greener...but a world where bra indents aren't there seems like the best place to me. I can't wait until I win the powerball...I'm going to have a nice perky B....


Linda said...

You don't need the powerball for that...that's what health insurance is for...look into it, you may be surprised.

Janet said...

they will make them smaller...but will the raise them back up where they belong? (insert officer and a gentleman music here)

Linda said...

That I'm not sure about...just think, when mine deflate after Bfing my kid i will be indented!

Anonymous said...

Oh Janet
I remember the days shopping with you for dresses, the top had to be big and the bottom was too big, you yelled and screamed!!! Those were the days!
When you get discouraged think of the lady who use to volunteer here...laugh
Love Mom

Anonymous said...

dont feel bad bout the boobies... they have now served thier they where they to help your clothes look nice catch-your mans attention and now feed the children. if i had the money after i had my last kid i would go for broke with the lifting and re-perking.

Morning Glory said...

OK, well you put my boobs in perspective. I can't bitch - ever. Always been a B so morphing into a C cup since I've been pregnant has been so strange. WHERE are my cute perky B cups?! Will the ever return? I get scared of engorged boobies when I deliver. However, I'm guessing they won't be a G. My sis had your issues. She had reduction a few years back and loves it.

Your little boys are adorable!!
Love, Chrissie